yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize