We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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