Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
