you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
