I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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