Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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