ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize