VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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