So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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