I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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