Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
