I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
