sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
