The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
