I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
