I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
