Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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