thus making me awesome and them whores
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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