Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
