What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
