One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
