yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she smelled like a LAN party
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
