So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
