Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
do nipples grow back?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
