Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
