i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Someone signed my nipple.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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