ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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