how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
