i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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