You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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