she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize