Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
