just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize