So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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