Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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