I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
