I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
