I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
