Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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