Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
