Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
