Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
