Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Couch. On fire.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
