I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Can I color on your dick again?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
