In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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