What a fucking waste of an outfit
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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