The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
