Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?

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(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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(416): View more from Toronto

Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.

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(569): View more from

Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What time did you start drinking?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe isn't a time...

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(480): View more from Arizona

Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol

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