Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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