I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
