And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
