ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
