return my video game
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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