so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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