So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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