I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
