Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
