so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
