new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
