Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
