All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
