AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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