I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
