Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
