hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
