I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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