a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
