This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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