um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
