hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
