And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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