I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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