So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so let's talk penis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
